Waiting is not Wasting?

One of the most frustrating things that I ever have to do is wait! Yes...I am impatient, no big secret, considering I am writing about it! It is not that I think that what I want is so important that it should come before anyone else's wants or needs, it is more like I am just so impatient! Anyone who has ever ridden in the car that I was driving can attest to that.....sorry by the way to anyone who has ever ridden in a car with me driving. Although I have a great driving record (knock on wood) but it is just that I do not like to wait...in traffic...I would actually rather go around the situation even if it takes me a bit longer or even saves me no time, just as long as I am moving! I tend to ride people...but seriously if the speed limit is 45 then pleeeeease go 45, not 40 or 37! And believe it or not you can drive at 47 and not get arrested! If I am on the Interstate and the slow poke in the left lane goes 55 and not the allowed 70, please know that I will pass them. Needless to say when I drive I am on a mission to be first in line. This is actually a funny statement since in every other area of my life I tend to not be self promoting or even ever first in line. I usually prefer my brother or sister in line for food at church dinners and I am fairly gracious in those sort of instances. But I have to say that if I am in the car...I feel the need to be first. The only other time I have the urge to push my way thru is maybe in the line at the DMV or some other equally slow line. Let's be honest...most people, including me, are only interested in their own little world and especially when they drive! It's all about us! I guess everyone thinks the same of me too....I am humbled by my own inability to be patient even now! This brings me to my point and I do usually have one even though it takes me a while to get their....I am now waiting to hear about a potential job. UGH! I have actually waited two years...double ugh! And now I am on the verge of a great one.....near the promise land....only a little farther...until I will be one of the working stiffs! Oh how I miss the life....and I have promised the Lord I would not grumble and complain again about working...like I did before! It was so silly that I would feel so conflicted about working...being a stay at home mom for many years kind of ruined me for the outside world. I wasn't in Kansas anymore and there were giants in the land...and not everyone wanted to play nice. So I would grumble and feel so "put upon" that I had to work, poor pitiful me! Well I have had two years of stay at home mom again....and I am done! I guess you can't go home again, ha. For me I need the structure of having to be someplace every day. I didn't think it was a big deal but now I see that it is good. Leave me to myself and I am my own worst enemy. I admit it..lazy, frustrated and a huge feeling of unworthiness. Silly I know, I am worthy, I am someone who has a lot to offer...but I waste it. Waiting is wasting for me at least. I know better, I repent, or should I say I am repentant...I haven't turned the other way yet, but I am considering it. The fact that I will possibly have a job soon gives me a deadline to get my house in order, I need deadlines, I work good with them and this must be why I was a good newspaper girl! I don't know, all I do know is that I am thrilled at even the possibility of a job...please Lord allow me to have this one...tap tap tap, I'm WAITING!