Christmas in Connecticut

Today I was scanning over my new Better Homes and Garden magazine and there were pictures of these lovely homes and it reminded me of the old movie, Christmas in Connecticut, circa 1940's-50's (black and white, which was a shame because of all the pretty scenery!). It starred Barbara Stanwyck and it was about a New York City writer who wrote a column about home keeping. She was the resident professional on all things home-y! ala Martha Stewart! Her editor had the bright idea to have her do an article on an old fashioned Christmas at her home in Connecticut (which she didn't own) and have a serviceman come for a photo opp. This idea came because the said serviceman had written to the paper about how much all the descriptions of the sumptuous foods and her beautifully designed home she described got him through the war! Well as it would turn out...she was a fake! She was a writer, but she could only write about all things Home. She had no experience in that department as well as no husband nor children........oops! This brings me to my point (and I eventually do have one, just sayin') I have finally come to realize after a dedicated (well sorta, at least some dedication, when needed!)life of home keeping that I too love to write about it. I have been blessed to have a beautiful home and a wonderful husband and precious children and everything that goes along with that, with cats and dogs(well we won't talk about all the dogs who shall remain nameless). But when I take stock of the whole process I can finely stand up and say.....I hate to clean house! I LOVE a clean house, but the process just bores the tar out of me. I have come this far to let myself off the hook, no more guilt, no more trying to live up to all the women I have known who have had immaculately clean homes. I am laying down the broom in surrender...it's just not that big of deal. Life is so much more. I am searching for my new destiny; what is on the horizon. Who am I to become now that I am not needed anymore in the rat race of tidy-ness! Wow it is great to rest in the peace of knowing it's ok not to be that person. Okay, I don't want to kid myself, it's not like I was all that industrious, I kept a clean house and I always will. Just let me schedule company and my house will shine. I kinda tend to be a "as needed" person anyway. But it is the guilt that I made myself live in..I always felt that I should love it more. WRONG! I love God and my neighbor; my husband and our life together. I love my beautiful children. I love living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. But if it means I have to Love cleaning....well I am done. No more guilt, it's okay, I will survive. My only fear is I will swing the other way and be turned into that tv show about the people who pile up junk and never clean! There are days it could happen. Nope, not gonna sweat it anymore...but I do hope to write about the perfect world of it all...I could be Barbara Stanwyk, hmmmmmm something to think about!