…just keep on walkin’!

…just keep on walkin’!

I have been questioning in the past few years, months, days…..minutes and seconds, exactly what in the world is going on. If I look to the right or the left (yes, I know we are not suppose to look right and left! busted!) I see destruction all around. Many people are searching also, for the correct route to follow, which door to open and waiting to just catch a break. Needless to say, I am not alone.
Transformation is always hard, sketchy even, and just like a butterfly, we have to go through a lot of slimy, squishy, icky situations to become  or get to where we need to be. That butterfly never knows what is gonna happen until later when he/she is fully developed and flutters around able to then see all those other sad little cocoons hanging about…squirming around, uncomfortable and feeling bound up unable to get free. Oh how we can relate!
I have been guilty of the squirming and complaining; attempting to figure out the plan…is there a back door?…or even a window….some way to escape….NOPE!.…. the only answer that is before me...to just keep on walkin’! AUGH!!! NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW! Where is MacGyver when you need him? Where is the fake door, secret passageway? I know I am God‘s favorite one, He shows me and has shown me that plenty of times, right? If anything I am discerning, right?
Yeah, Yeah, sure, sure and with six you get egg roll! (old movie reference, by the way!) I have gone through the ritual of repeating all the cute refrigerator magnet sayings, the book of promises, all the highlighted scriptures that “really got me!” I have checked myself out against Proverbs..(besides a little bit of sluggard-ness from time to time, I am ok!) and eventually poked around the book of James, and note to self…do not go there again! ugh! I have thought and prayed and talked and counseled the most astute of all my peeps who I trust to know what’s what. From all this searching I have come up with one small solution.
Just keep on walkin’! The consensus is in……keep my eyes focused on the one who is leading me and just keep on walkin”! There is no better way to see this revelation than to be confronted with the enemy of those of us who keep on keepin’ on. Sometimes the exposure of “little foxes” spoiling the vine is all it takes…..it can stir up the fire inside me to just not take it anymore. In my weakness I just want to walk away…it just ain’t worth it,…. ya know? To have every portion of your life turned inside out, the very things that were unshakable…solid and could never be questioned……Well guess what…never say never! My very heart has been cut and spilled out on the floor and trampled on…..BUT NOT ANYMORE! (I have to keep telling myself that!)
Now is the time to STAND….therefore STAND! I will not allow them, whoever them is, to win. I doubt I have anything on JOB, as a matter of fact I know I don’t but he kept the faith so why am I so frail…..I don’t want to shock anyone to be so vocal about my plight, I am the PREACHERS WIFE don’tcha know! WOOHOO! (translation: servant of God). Since God is no respecter of persons I am in the same hole as everyone else which is nice to know on the one hand, on the other hand…really! GOD did you know I AM A PREACHERS WIFE?? Cut me some slack here would ya? Nope….and that’s okay too. Just means I have to try even harder to be a person that could help someone else along the way.
I have been blessed with some women who have been mentors in my life. Some are old friends and some have been new in my life. Some of them are precious prayer saints that no one would even have ever heard of and others are in the popular crowd. Sometimes one of those who you would not expect to hear from lends an ear and an encouraging word; shares personal testimony of how the Lord has made a way by a big miracle or given the where-with-all to figure it out ourselves. We need to hear those stories, it encourages us and to realize that you are  not so “big time” that you open up your life to help the rest of us, is admirable as well as Godly. I notice it and even more God does too, humble servant of God.
I have been given a challenge, let the haters be haters and the ignorant stay ignorant….turning a deaf ear to all the mumbo jumbo of ones who have the spiritual gift of being a pot stir, I just don’t have the time. I must just keep on walkin’ in the power and grace of the one who sent me. We are more than conquerors and it is high time we take our place as the leaders we are called to be. I have been pushed around too long, not mad ….just have a made up mind. I am not going anywhere but where God wants me to go.
I will just keep on walkin’ as long as he is leading me.

Shutdown or Meltdown?

The times…they are changin’....yes, they sure are! In this country we have always known a time of plenty or at least since the Great Depression. That lasted way too long and it had always made me wonder WHY? What exactly made the climate in this country so abstract that our financial stability is blown to smithereens? Do we not have wise MEN that control it all? Have we not been proven to be the greatest nation of the world? Were President Hoover and President Roosevelt not equipped to handle the workings of our country? Where do we lay the blame…or do we?
So many questions I have always had….now I have one or two of the answers. Today, as I sit and wonder the same exact questions…Day 4 of the Shutdown of the U.S. Government, I see how it happens….the wise and equally able “MEN” and some Women who are “in charge” of us all just can’t get it worked out. For around twenty years our country lived in utter failure and it mostly started with an ACT. (aren’t they blaming the Affordable Health Care Act now for this?)
The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act passed in June 1930. The act interrupted trade and created an environment of high unemployment (reaching its peak at 25% in 1933). After the crash in October 1929, unemployment peaked at about 9% and returned to about 6% before the tariffs were implemented. While the stock market crash was significant, it was not the beginning of the Great Depression. (Ask.com) This Act hurt foreign trade and after reading about it….I am still lost. As usual most of the mumbo jumbo that comes out of our government is hard to understand for us regular people. (or maybe just ME?)
This leads me to this conclusion: Many smart people “think” they are doing good work by proposing these laws and Acts and assuming they will lead to good for the U.S. but sometimes they backfire. NOT MUCH EVER CHANGES! In 2008 we had a huge housing crash for which we still are muddling through….when is it ever going to stop? Probably never……that is the cold hard facts!
These are the times we ask the hard questions of God….or maybe I am the only one? I have hit a wall, I seem to not be able to get a handle on what is going on these days, world and country wide as well as personally. It feels like the heavens are brass….even though I know they are not. God is ALWAYS working on my behalf, this is what I know for sure. HE has not SHUTDOWN and it seems he is not real upset at my MELTDOWN! I sure do wish he would give me a clue…throw me a bone….send a Dove with a twig in its beak…something to let me know we will survive.
I hope I do not sound as if I have given up, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP.….but I sure do surrender to HIS WILL. I am unable to assume I have any idea what is going on…with the world as we know it or even my own little life. I can’t even begin to feel the fear the country had back in the 1920′s, my grandparents knew it well and even my parents as children. That seems like a very long time ago and yet it is right here looking down the gun barrel at us. I am not particularly worried, just sober and conscience of what may come. Is this only a shutdown for a short while or will it be a total meltdown for us all? This is not a who’s at fault, we all are. We hired “them” to control what happens to our country.
I am not a super political person, maybe I should be…the lull of apathy has over taken my zeal of civil rights and not take this lying down ……ness! I have learned to allow God be in control and in that know that this shutdown may just turn into a Meltdown. Lord be kind….in your judgement, remember mercy.
Habakkuk 2:3
LORD, I have heard the report about You and I fear. O LORD, revive Your work in the midst of the years, In the midst of the years make it known; In wrath remember mercy.
Maranatha!

A double ouchie!

This is one of the most special days of my life! Yes....the UT VOLS play Florida and always have for as long as I can remember....or at least on this Saturday in September, but that is not the real reason. And anyone who knows me knows that I could really do not care that much about football to remember the day they usually play Florida...even though we DO NOT LIKE FLORIDA MUCH UP HERE IN VOL COUNTRY...just making that clear!
The real reason is that on this day...while UT played FLorida for that all time rival...TWICE (not once but 2 times!) I was piled

English: Neyland Stadium, Knoxville, Tennessee. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

up at UT Hospital in Knoxville, TN giving birth to my last two children. In case anyone wondered.....yes, my doctor was sure to have them here before the game started! Not only for my VOL FAN husband but for himself of course! It worked out well, they were born and (by C-Section-ugh----hence the double ouchie!) and I was enjoying the yummy morphine pump.....AHHHHH! SO, the husband had the whole tv remote all to himself!
I will say...he wasn't ignoring me...I was more ignoring him...I had done my job and now I was resting my laurels! Funny of course because I was now the mother of 4--FOUR KIDS! WOW! Still after all this time getting that strait in my head! Considering the love for UT we have it was only fitting that it happen this way I guess.
My first last child is Samuel and today he is a mere 26 years old. I say mere because from my vantage point he is still so young....to him he is nearly half dead! Samuel was on the heels of our Bethany, only 13 months after her birth and it was brought to my attention early on that..."how dare we have a baby...again...so soon!"People are so stupid...let's just get that clear on the front end...bless their hearts (.....she says because it is the southern way!)  But God had a better idea....he gave me this beautiful boy to keep me kindhearted. I dont know that I am really that kindhearted, but if I am it is solely because of this little puppy of mine. He was the best baby I had....not one peep out of him, he slept from the git-go for 10 hours in  a stretch...( he gets that honest!- I can still sack out for days!...given the chance) He has these big brown eyes, looks more like me than any of the others and was always tender hearted. I rarely had to raise my voice to him, and if I did (not that I ever yelled at my kids...pishposh!) he would be the most compliant of all. He also had an older brother and sister who kept him up to date on the does and don'ts. Samuel was the best cuddler of all also....he was the sweet heart of my heart and he remains a special person, still caring and loving to me, but .....he has found his own voice (darn it!) and he has a sorta liberal yet compassionate view of life( I am kinda secretly proud of him!), quick to oppose my convictions with his own equally strong opinions, he can argue a point nearly as well as his Dad and is clearly strong in his own notions. He is no push over but his kindness keeps him sweet even when tested. He keeps me kind because his kindness is worthy of respecting, he isn't a yeller....he is slow to anger but look out when he does. I honor this son of mine, he has always been a joy to have as a son and even more as a friend. I covet his hugs and hang out time he gives me....at this age those are  the best gifts! Happy Birthday Son, no mother had a better one.
The for real last last child or caboose as we like to call him is our one and only NJ. Nathanael Joseph actually and I tagged him with the short version when he was just a baby. Today is his 17th birthday and he is about the most precious of all. I had NJ when I was almost 37 years old...old by some standards at least back then. It wasn't the style yet to wait so long....as usual, I was ahead of the curve....but he was nine years after the first bunch and when this occurs it is almost as if he is an only child. (see birth order books!) Starting all over again, so to speak but with much more experience and confidence. He was somewhat like a new pet for all of us. Okay ....don't beat me me up for the analogy, but really he was a family project. Will was 12 and excited but attempted to hide it...he's cool ya know! But Bethany (10) was over the moon!!! A real live doll baby all her own to Mother....and Sam (9) was not going to be the "baby" anymore so he was elated! NJ was the Blessing of my life that I will always know was a direct response from GOD. He was what I needed at that time and everyday for the past 17 years I had a reason to show up. Not that I didn't have three other reasons and a husband and tons of other reasons but this kid was the driving force for me at that time. HE came on the scene when I needed him most, and he has always been a blessing. Funny does not even describe him...he is animated....and joyous and never meets a stranger, his personality is the perfect blend of me and his Dad...outgoing and personable, not awkward ever and in our family that is very odd. We invented awkward! He is strong minded and sure of himself and rarely ever finds himself worried or fearful. Where did this youngin' come from...he is the weird one? He has been my sidekick in my old age and kept me off the ledges. The only time I ever see frailty is catch him when he is tired and DO NOT CROSS HIM! He can have a meltdown better than most people....its best to just let him alone because you will never win that fight. He will go to his death defending his cause. Most days he is the best friend you could ever want, most loyal and forgiving person, a friend that loves at all times. He is my JOY and my HOPE for a world of HAPPY. HE spreads Happy all around and our family is blessed to have him love us.
Happy Birthday my two sons...you are our legacy and our loves and our prayer is you find your own place in this world and live always faithful to the will of God for your lives. He gave us you for a short time and I know He is pleased.

preacherswife in the know!: In A Valley

preacherswife in the know!: In A Valley http://youtu.be/SKbJJKJ96DE
http://youtu.be/SKbJJKJ96DE

In A Valley

written and performed by Will Fritts

ALL of US are dying

To know the day we are going to die would seem to be very ominous, even somewhat frightening. But would it? All of US are dying…..we just don’t know exactly when.

Funny thing about death, it is so allusive. No one knows what is like because it is a trip we don’t comeback from. No postcards home, no suntan(or we hope not, yikes!) no leftover sand creeping in our luggage. NO LUGGAGE even! Death is the end of a time period.

On the other hand it is the beginning of a new one. The whole universe uses death as a marker of time. B.C/A.D. and with this to be true…why then is there such a controversy about the C part and the A.D. Christ is the marker of the time. Before HE died and then after HE died.
I struggle with my devotion and faith, even sometimes daily, but I can never deny HIS existence and I can’t understand why anyone else would or could. Whether the belief if HE is the one and only SON OF GOD or not…HE must have been pretty important to be the “marking of time post”…. so to speak.

HE knew death was his future and sooner than later, better than anyone else. He carried on even though he was doomed from the start. He carried on…about the father’s business. I would guess that he had a bit of fear and questions. He questioned it even the night before. Also, HE was like US….so he felt the same pain and had some scary nights sleeping alone on the ground with a rock for a pillow.
Sometimes it does feel like we are just marking time and I suppose that is because in the natural world we really just are. So when we come to that moment, if we know and have the time to, will we ask for another chance to go to Disneyland or one more movie to watch or NASCAR Race? Will we want to shop ’til we drop or check our Twitter or FACEBOOK account one more time? Really…….what is so profound?

What WILL be the one thing we hope we can do again? I hope not one darn thing! I hope we do all the things we long to do while there is still time and I hope it is more like lay beside our husband and talk about nothing or kiss our children’s forehead. I hope our time spent on this earth has been full of these little moments…with no regrets.

Give the flowers to the living……hug the necks and kiss the foreheads. Walk in the new spring grass with bare feet, be surprised, be loved and love back. Allow the days to be filled with just what is important even if it is working our tired jobs. They serve a purpose also, they give us the other hours to be free and serve others, share our hearts and even waste some of that time.
All of US are dying, most of us just don’t know it.

southern girl FINE ART

southern girl FINE ART

I am painting away these days!!!

Mercy Seat - Vicki Yohe

I am undone....